Engagement is key in any conversation. Whether you are meeting a prospect, catching up with a long-time client or talking with members of your sales team, you need to be able to communicate in a way that engages the other party.

Author John R. Stoker says that while some conversations are naturally more important than others, you can still practice some rules to improve the effectiveness of your interactions with other people. In this issue of Promotional Consultant Today, we share Stoker’s 10 rules for better conversational engagement—especially with members of your sales team.

1. The rule of vision. The first rule to improving conversational engagement is creating a vision that resonates with others. This could mean helping your sales reps understand how their actions contribute to your team’s overall vision.

2. The rule of expectation. If your sales reps are missing goals or not performing as they should, consider how you communicated the expectation. It could be that they did not clearly understand what was expected of them.

3. The rule of specific feedback. Remember that people want feedback, whether it be constructive feedback or positive feedback, says Stoker. Don’t make your sales reps guess whether or not they are doing a good job. Give them detailed feedback with concrete examples.

4. The rule of reflection. What you get may be what you are giving, notes Stoker. If you are speaking with a sales rep and you notice that they are becoming emotional, for example, check yourself. If you are becoming loud or irritated, the other person will usually reflect this back to you.

5. The rule of discovery. According to Stoker, this rule means being curious and open to learning when you are working with others. We are often too quick to form judgments about people without any substantiating data, he says. By staying open, you can create the rapport that is necessary in strong relationships.

6. The rule of connectivity. For better conversational engagement, you must also stay present and truly listen to the other person. Note their facial expressions and tone of voice. All of these actions represent a message.

7. The rule of appreciation. It’s so simple to recognize someone for their diligent work, but many people fail to do so regularly. Taking time to thank someone out loud reinforces their performance and communicates gratitude, says Stoker.

8. The rule of reciprocity. Reciprocity is the exchange of something for the mutual benefit of both parties. Sometimes, though, we may unintentionally offend others. When this happens, Stoker says it’s best to apologize, learn from the mistake and encourage others to do the same.

9. The rule of consistency. Do your sales reps and colleagues know what to expect from you? Being consistent in your mood and demeanor with everyone takes the pressure off people, and it keeps them from feeling that self-preservation will be required on any given day, notes Stoker.

10. The rule of respect. The final rule to improve conversational engagement is to always interact with others respectfully. This is a way of showing that you support the other person, and you would rather talk to them than about them.

How well you communicate with your sales reps impacts their performance and the success of your overall team. You can start having better, more meaningful conversations by considering the rules above.

Compiled by Audrey Sellers

Source: John R. Stoker is the author of Overcoming Fake Talk and the president of DialogueWORKS, Inc.